stars and boulevards

Wait dear, a white horse is walking down my street here,
your words are creeping at my feet
I fear, sunrise will come to soon and you'll disappear
into the haze of this city and go south...

look out, they're coming after us with big guns,
they're only gonne tell you all the bad things I've done
even if they words they say aren't true they've won,
any I'm left here dyin in the sun

oh...seems like I'm always on my own,
seems like I'm never coming home
seems like I'm always on my own...

late nights, won't do me justice
cause when I drink...I just get so damn depressed,
and its not like, I ain't trying to get over you.
it's just hard to look at the seasons, pass me over too...

oh...seems like I'm always on my own,
seems like I'm never coming home
seems like I'm always on my own...
(all the stars and boulevards ain't close enough for you...)

one last phone call from you, it wouldn't hurt much,
just like to hear your voice and pretend to touch,
any inch of you that hasn't said it all or read it all or sung
my life away

Hu do i miss?

Gosh i'm broke man... Waitin for wed to get money frm my father...Then can top up my card.... then have to buy books... Nthing really happened ...All i did was cook...went to meet my mum... Watch soccer and study then slept at bout 3a.m.... All the same.... Waitin to go out again... had so much fun on sat man...


I want you to want me by cheap trick

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.

Didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'?

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.

Didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'?
Oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'?
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.
Oh, didn't i, didn't i, didn't i see you cryin'?

I want you to want me.
I need you to need me.
I'd love you to love me.
I'm beggin' you to beg me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.
I want you to want me.

Me,Myself n I

Over at fara's place...Stayed over for a day... Went out wif mok n fara... It was fun...town was awesome...bumped into my uncle...Scary... I juz simply luv tis life...The guys were all so hot...There was tis guy hu we found cute n he turned n looked at us...It was juz meltin my heart.... Oh gosh... Went to topshop loved tis green dress bt it was 119 bucks...where the hell am i to get tat sort of money... then at zara i saw another it was red n it was 75 bucks...i might get it... I juz in luv wif dresses i dun knw why...Mb cause i'm a model nw... eeryone is lyk woah u model...well yes i am one...shockin bt hey its for the money... i'll be rich in no tym... Hehes... anyways so tat is it

Broken hearts

I've gotten really worst...My sickness is so irritatin...wanna get well soon... The one has left...So saddenin...I've gotta move on in life...I'm nt gonna stay on... Bt it will be hard to fall in luv again...Aft so much...I guess i will be single,wil n happy... being single is the best always... hangin till lyk forever... Goin mad n juz doin wateva i want... Tis is the most awesomw thing... to wait? NO... I'm gonna be hu i am frm nw on... I dun care if ppl dun lyk it...It's juz me... My modelling is goin well... should be startin my shows in 2 weeks tym... Next week is my last training...Finally man... my legs hurt... One hour Juz standing on heels which r so high...I can die...when i go hme n take it out...It's lyk i'm standin on heaven... Imagine if i do my shows i'll be dead... Anyways tats it...

My heart is breakin and you are still faking a feeling that u will never know

finally i'm goin faras place to stay over tis sun... Yes man...miss her so much man...We goin clubbin...yes my first tym... anyways... I dunno y bt smething keeps holdin me back frm msgin him... I juz dunno wat... Luv juz holds back everything... I'm really missin him... I guess cause i've nt seen him since skul closed... I've got to ask myself tis question" Does he still luv me?" Hmmm.. a question left unanswered...So many questions all left unanswered.... I dun tink carefully before i say anything..wen it happened i juz said wat i thought at tat moment n never thought bout the future, my feelins n how things would have turned out... i've always had tis problem...I juz say wat cmes to my mind at first...I've gt to tink before i say anything next tym...I end up sayin the wrong things in the end...Hate myeslf for tat...anyways tat is bout it...

I'm left waiting again

The weekends r over...It's borin all over again...i'm sick...Havin terrible headache n got flu...This is so irritating i'm sick durin the holidays...Mb it's cause i'm sleepin the whole day lyk a pig... Anyways I should get out mre... I wanna make a surprise visit to fara's place...Bt heard her workin schedule had changed... Y?... I'll try to get her new schedule frm her... i'm workin too...Modelling...Can u believe it...I'm modelling for SA arts...I went for lessons yesterday...I suck at catwalking.... I got to go hme n practice... I'm doin shows instead of photoshoots... so it's harder...I've got lessons next sun again... Haiz it's my only way to earn good bucks... Gotta go through it...

Can you believe it i'm left waiting for his fucking msg again...Ah i hate tis...Hate lovin smeone n in the end his doin tis to me...I juz dunno wat is wrong wif me...I shouldn't say him cause i knw his character... Wat went wrong wif things... I guess it's juz the ups n downs of life... I miss the past... The past...A time were we all were free and full of happiness...Really missin those tyms... Well it's life..We gotta go through it... Well my problems gettin bigger n bigger... I juz can't stay happy...

Miss being ur baby...

Yesterday raya vistin was fun....Shikin,reesha,Naz,Faridah,Haziqah,hilmy,haikel,ain n there were mre of us.... I woke up late n had to take a taxi dwn to naz huse...Cause neede my baju kurung...Everyone said i looked good... We met shikin,reesha n haikel at the bus stp...Then wen dwn to serangoon north we went to 2 huses there..kantona n ain's huses...aft tat walked dwn to hazwan huse,Then took a bus to hougang green to diana's n faridah's huse...We went dwn to shikin's huse...Hyder was sleepin when we arrived...bt he awoke aft tat...was a bit tired...so din really play wif him... Then went to haikel's huse..His mum had cooked food for us...we left at bout 7.30...took a taxi dwn to Mr hasrens huse...His wife cooked food for us too... mr hasren kept on askin me bout my uncle...It was funny...especially wif hilmy there... mr hasren's son was so cute...we left for haziqah's huse...Hilmy n haikel had to leave cause they were on probation...We went to haziqah's huse...We kept on singin b'dae sng for her...it was her b'dae..Her mum cooked for us...N we were lyk die...So full already... Finally went to naz huse...mum had already called me to go...So went ot naz huse changed n left...took a taxi hme...I was real tired when i got hme...Bt it was fun...Faridah was full of nonsense the whole tym...

Today I went for lunch at my aunty's fren huse...The huse was awesome...My bro went to play wif her sons...So my coz n i juz sat n talked... We left bout 3.30... Came over to my granny's huse cause goin hme would be borin...Yup so tat is it....

I've lost any chance to say,to say tat i miss you say tat i luv u

It's raining...I'm tired of sleepin already...all i do is sleep,sleep,sleep n eat...Lyk pig..Well i dun look lyk one...I'm nt gettin fatter..It's juz the same old skinny me...Ppl tink its good...Hello it ain't...It sux...Smetyms clothes are big for me...even though it's small...It really sux...Haven started on my modellin job yet... Gotta get 200 bucks for my portfolio...Mum is gettin it for me... I wanna work then stay at hme...It's borin juz usin the com n stayin at hme till i rot... Last nite i broke down n cried in my room... i guess it's cause of him...I'm so frustrate wif myself...Y tink negative? I should tink positive...He was pissed bout smething else nt u...At least he msged me ltr on in the nite... I drank till i tink i becme drank..Cause i slept on the sofa wif the tv on... Mrning woke up wif a major headache...Y do tis to myself...I dun understand myself really... If i luv him,y hurt myself...Juz shutup n wait for things to happen by itself... I'm always tinkin negative...I've got none to turn to all them wats wrong...My bestie is workin dun really wanna disturb her...I gotta get my head out of tis smehw or rather... I dun want to drink my sorrows away...cause it doesn't help abit.... I've gotta find new ppl as in guys...socialize mre...I tink it would get my head out of things...rather then cryin my heart out when none listens....so tats it....

My second dirty secret:I drink till i get drank when i am sad

Like a sad song,this lullaby whispers,sleeping,and sweet goodnite,and i loved you,you never had to say

I am bored to death...Ya i knw i wen out on mon bt i can't stay at hme...I'm simply waitin for friday...goin vistin wif shikin all...wishin to get money obviously n a day out wif my frens... I dunno wat has happened btw me n him... After tat nite... I dunno wat was wrong wif me tat nite...Bt i did wat i needed to do...I have been wantin to do it ever since he used the word friends...I simply can't stay frens wif him...I mean its him nt smeone else... I tink i've gt to start findin guys out there...Bt i'm still in luv wif him...anyways so yup tat is....

My dirty little secret

It's the 4th of nov... It's aft a lng week of festivals... Haven gone out yet... all i did today is...Woke up at 1pm...cooked lunch came over to my grannys to use the com...Watched The exorcism of emily rose...This movie rox... It gets better cause its a true story... Six demons in her jesus can't help gettin out of her...Lucifer took control of her...His out there...ready for his next attack on a innocent...Lets wait n see hu...Hw closer he gets to us...We shall worship him each day... god haters u got smething to look forward to...

My first dirty secret: I take pills to sleep