I've lost any chance to say,to say tat i miss you say tat i luv u

It's raining...I'm tired of sleepin already...all i do is sleep,sleep,sleep n eat...Lyk pig..Well i dun look lyk one...I'm nt gettin fatter..It's juz the same old skinny me...Ppl tink its good...Hello it ain't...It sux...Smetyms clothes are big for me...even though it's small...It really sux...Haven started on my modellin job yet... Gotta get 200 bucks for my portfolio...Mum is gettin it for me... I wanna work then stay at hme...It's borin juz usin the com n stayin at hme till i rot... Last nite i broke down n cried in my room... i guess it's cause of him...I'm so frustrate wif myself...Y tink negative? I should tink positive...He was pissed bout smething else nt u...At least he msged me ltr on in the nite... I drank till i tink i becme drank..Cause i slept on the sofa wif the tv on... Mrning woke up wif a major headache...Y do tis to myself...I dun understand myself really... If i luv him,y hurt myself...Juz shutup n wait for things to happen by itself... I'm always tinkin negative...I've got none to turn to all them wats wrong...My bestie is workin dun really wanna disturb her...I gotta get my head out of tis smehw or rather... I dun want to drink my sorrows away...cause it doesn't help abit.... I've gotta find new ppl as in guys...socialize mre...I tink it would get my head out of things...rather then cryin my heart out when none listens....so tats it....

My second dirty secret:I drink till i get drank when i am sad