In tears

How long has it been since i wrote?I think 2 days.Let me say it has been the worst and the best 2 days of my life.I dunno why i was feeling my past all over again.Then there is the whole situation at home.It's back to how it used to be.I'm in tears writting this entry now.Can u believe after all that holding in.I just can't take it anymore.But i'll make a promise here.I promise there will be no more cuts on my wrist.If there is,u have the permission to slap me.
I hate this shitty feeling.Cause it really sucks out the liveliness outta me.Which i hate.I wanna be a hyper bunny not a dead bunny.
The happy part is that someone is making me smile all over again.Well hopes aren't high.Cause i've learnt not to keep them high anymore.Men are all untrusted bunch of ppl.back to wat i was saying.Well he makes me happy.He just makes me smile.I'm always laughing when i'm around him.I dun rmb being sad.He cheers me up.Which is awesome.But when he isn't i'm back to being sad.His the person who keeps me happy.
Man u is playing barca tmr morning at 2.30am.Awesome game it will be as man u has to win.No draw or lose.It has to be a win.Well lets see.Who does their best duking out.The survival of the best.hahasAlright.Skuling tmr?not sure.may go in after first meeting.well till the next hopefully happy entry.Cheers.

"Do not walk with unwanted baggage with a chip.Leave it behind and carry a new one."
-Rev

On a plane somewhere again
I take my place in line just like every other time
I slide into my window seat
She was sitting there
One seat over so I said “Hello, how are you today?”
With my smile I could see the hope within her eyes
And I knew that something’s different today

Chorus
Though everything’s the same inside
There’s something real
A faith which causes me to change
(But what’s different now)
A spark is gleaming in my eye
Like diamond stars that fill the sky
I think a smile says it all
A smile says it all

The conversation presses on
As miles pass below, she said I have to let you know
You seem so different to me
There is a joy inside
The love of God is all I know
From which this could originate
With one smile I could see
The faith we share inside
And I know that something’s different today

I see what a smile can say about me
I know that words are not always what speak
Sometimes it’s not what I say
That the world around me seems to understand

Realise the beauty in this world before u leave

Updates first!
F1 was awesome cause ferrari is on top with 47 points.Raikkonen went to 1 st position with 29 points and then its hamilton with 20 and robert kubica with 19.Damn it was a good race.Loved it.My only happiness this weekend.
Man u lost to chelsea yesterday.Like wat the hell? But i'm not sad as they're still on top.Left 2 more games and its easy.They'll win both and lift the trophy.Which will let me smile from ear to ear.hahas.
Anyways someone just msged me.Hearing her words today almost made me cry.Cause it really hits me in my heart.It makes me realise that life isn't just filled with all bad.There are the good things that i gotta realise.Well i am realising the good things.But certain things i'm still unsure about.Like guys and trust.Trust is a really hard thing for me now.She let me know that from mistakes are the best lessons learnt. We become better ppl knowing that we can make it better from our mistakes.From today i'm gonna learn how to take life easily and not to be too hard on myself.
Amaliah thanks for calling me and letting me know that my entry yesterday made almost cry. I happy to know my words have touched u and i hope it has inspired u?
I should have always kept in contact with fara.Cause to receive the comment from her telling me that she missed me almost made me cry. I have to visit her.My strengths partly comes from her.Man how much i love her.I will held in all my tears till i find the right time to let them all out to the right person.
Anyways cheers.Live life to the fullest.

you've got this new head filled up with smoke
and i've got my veins all tangled
close to the jukebox bars you frequent
the safest place to hide
long nights filled with your most obvious weaknesses
you start shaking at the thought
you are everything i want
cause you are everything i'm not

we lay, we lay together
just not too close, too close
(how close is close enough?)
we lay, we lay together
just not too close, too close

i just want to bring you down so badly
well i trip over everything you said
i just want to bring you down so badly
in the worst way

my inarticulate store bought hangover hobby kit
in time it says, "you, oh, you are so cool"
it says, "of the shades across the bed
you are red, violet red
you hollow out my hungry eyes
you hollow out my hungry eyes"

we lay, we lay together
just not too close, too close
(how close is close enough?)
we lay, we lay together
just not too close, too close

i just want to bring you down so badly
well i trip over everything you said
i just want to bring you down so badly
in the worst way
i just want to bring you down so badly
well i trip over everything you said
i just want to bring you down so badly
in the worst way

we're gonna make damn sure
that you can't ever leave me
no you won't ever get too far from me
you won't ever get too far from me
i'll make damn sure
that you can't ever leave
no you won't ever get too far from me
you won't ever get too far from me
you won't ever get too far from me
you won't ever get too far

i just want to bring you down so badly
well i trip over everything you said
i just want to bring you down so badly
in the worst way (worst way)

i'm going to make damn sure
i just want to bring you down so badly
i'm going to make damn sure
i just want to bring you down so badly
in the worst way, worst way...

Broken

I'm like gonna breakdown in tears but i won't cause i'm strong.I miss her so much.I wish i can bring time to stop on that night and know what was going through her mind.Leaving all of us like that and now everything is being taken away from her.Even the memories she used to treasure.It seems that it doesn't matter to her anymore.I know i have lost a bestfriend and i have lost many secrets with it as well.Memories left within are gone.I want them back.I want a fucking timemachine to make things right.So many things has to be made right.Oh man can someone come pick me up and just make me forget all that i've gone through in my life.My depression and my relationship that i loved but i dun have anymore.Why has all the good things in life been taken away from me so easily.It was hard to make them and it was so easy to lose it.Why?Can someone just take all of this away and make new ones that will last forever. Where are you?please come find me or if u are already in my life,act soon.I need you badly.A friend or whatever.
On a lighter note,chelsea and man utd are duking it out now.Vidic got injured and he just got back like wat the fuck right?Oh man they need to win if not chelsea will have the upperhand.Damn!Dunno how F1 went this afternoon was qualifiers and i was at training.Cheerleading training is worst then anything that i've ever experienced.But i endured till the end.It's a endurance test where its mind over body.And i'm surviving.okay i'm goona watch the two teams duke it out but its glory man utd.lol.Updates on F1 and this game that is happening tmr.Cheers.


In the moonlight
Your face it glows
Like a thousand diamonds
I suppose
And your hair flows like
The ocean breeze
Not a million fights
Could make me hate you
You’re invincible
Yeah, It’s true
It’s in your eyes
Where I find peace

Chorus:
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
Let’s light up the town, scream out loud!
Is it broken?
Can we work it out?
I can see in your eyes
You’re ready to break
Don’t look away.

So here we are now
In a place where
The sun blended
With the ocean thin.
So thin, we stand
Across from each other
Together we’ll wonder
If we will last these days
If I asked you to stay
Would you tell me
You would be mine?

And time
Is all I ask for
Time
I just need one more day
And time
You’ve been crying too long
Time
And your tears wrote this song
Stay

In the moonlight
Your face it glows

Liar liar pants on fire Hanging from a telephone wire

Oh man today was awesome.Meeting all my fav people in the world.The twins,diq,wan and khai.I love this days.Cause it reminds me of the old days.How much of criminal fun we had.hahas.I really wish we could go back and never move.I really miss those days.This are the days where i appreciate everyone in my life.My downfall in life really made me realise the beauty in this world.Getting on my two feet again was a hard process but u guys lifted me up from the ground when i fell.Okay i feel like crying now.But well its true.I so love all of u'll.Han i love u too okay?Dun worry u'll always be my teddy bear.lol.Mal u are like my randomness partner forever.How i wish i could show u''ll that i really appreciate each one of u.Muackz to all.

Hahas.Enough with my emo words but i really do okay.So town was awesome and all.Walkin aimlessly and all.Cam-whoring and all.It's so fun.Hahas.

Oh well ask diq to help me check out this guy who i randomly met in school.Diq promised me to check out and see if the guy is alright.Thats what bestfriends do,they look out for us.Well his pretty nice and all.But i haven been in the whole dating thing for a long time and all.I forgot how to date.Damn it.My flinging.Fuck those times.I want pretty nice and awesome times now.

Anyways i'm done for today.Gotta be up at 7 for cheerleadin and i'm not asleep yet.Fuck got to sleep Rev.No i'm not going to.hahas.Alright.cheers.

Liar liar pants on fire
And the pills go down and get you higher
Baby bottle’s burning, mother fucker
And the mother hates him like the daughter
Only god and maker gripping tighter
Saying you will burn in hell they say, you will burn in hell

Liar liar pants on fire
Liar liar stop yourself from catching
Fire fire god and maker
Liar liar pants on fire

Liar liar house on fire
And the glass tastes nasty chewing fat about
Your dummy hurts you, you mother fucker
Mother never loved you
Father touched you with the hand of god
He’s gripping tighter
Saying you will burn in hell, they say
You will burn in hell

Liar liar pants on fire
Liar liar stop yourself from catching
Fire fire god and maker
Liar liar you fucking liar

You’re gonna burn in hell
You’re gonna burn in hell
Hell hell hell
You will burn in hell they say
You will burn in hell – fucking liar

Liar liar pants on fire
Liar liar stop yourself from catching
Fire fire god and maker
Liar liar you fucking liar

Liar liar pants on fire
Liar liar stop yourself from catching
Fire fire god and maker
Liar liar you fucking liar
You fucking liar
Liar liar you fucking liar
Liar liar you fucking liar
Liar liar you fucking liar

Liar liar pants on fire
Hanging from a telephone wire

Anthem of my dying day

Gosh this week has been a test of endurance.Seriously having not done sports in the longest time and getting back into it.It is a shitty feeling the aftermath.The cramps are fucking painful.But i'm strong.I'll go through floorball and cheerleaading trainings.
Anywho Tmr after skul will be going out with the twins.It's been quite long since i've gone out with the twins.Neeeda meet up and chill out. Saturady is cheerleading so another tiring day.
Oh man...Guess who i bumped into today.Edmund.It's been a long time since i saw him.Can't rmb when was the last time.Probably it was one of those clubbing days of mine.
Having stayed sober in the longest time of my life.I'm happy cause it's more fun when u're not high or drunk.U're aware of wat u do and u rmb the happy moments.Which i'm loving like seriouly.Seriously i'm really thanking all the people who are around me.Love y'all.Having man not cause problems in my life is so much better.Don't understand why they always come into my bloody life to just create problems.No offence to my guy friends but it is for the guys who i've had something with.
Alritey then.Till my next dying day.Cheers.

"Those who do not want to imitate anything,produce nothing"
-Salvador Dali

Everything's Magic

Hello all.I'm so tired cause i started floorball yesterday already.And i've decided to join both floorball and cheerleading.So its like monday and thursday floorball and tuesday and saturday is cheerleading.See never clash.So it's awesome.

I hate monday lessons cause its like game design or some fuck like that.I just hate it and the teacher always things i'm nervous during our presentations when i actuall am already happy on the floor.Okay nevermind screw it.

Today was aight.Even though culture lessons suck they are still quite fun but today my Rj very hard and i've still not done it.What am i doing blogging then?Okay screw that till before 11.59pm.

I've got to scream this THEY TOOK OUT THE SMOKING RULE IN SCHOOL.Fuck now must go outside under block and smoke.The 5th floor carpark no more.Sadness.Sulking on top of my tiredness.Sian tmr science.Alritey i'm gone till next time.Cheers.

"We are all part of creation, all kings, all poets, all musicians; we have only to open up, to discover what is already there." -Henry Miller

I asked her to stay
But she wouldn't listen
She left before I had the chance to say
oh
The words that would mend
The things that were broken
But now it's far to late she's gone away

Every night she cried herself to sleep
Thinking "why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe it

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

The taste of her breath
I'll never get over
The noises that she made kept me awake

oh
The weight of the things
That remain unspoken
Built up so much they crushed us every day

Every night she cried herself to sleep
Thinking "why does this happen to me?
Why does every moment have to be so hard?"
Hard to believe it

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you
oh oh oh oh oh

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

All the things I've felt
I've never really shown
Perhaps the worst is that I ever let you go
Should have never let you go oh oh oh

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you

It's not over tonight
Just give me one more chance to make it right
I may not make it through the night
I won't go home without you
I won't go home without you
I won't go home without you
I won't go home without you.

Quote of the day

"There is only one difference between a madman and me. The madman thinks he is sane. I know I am mad."
-Salvador Dali

Laid to rest

It's like 4am i know.But i'm bored and i wanted to do something different.So its pics blogging.All the pics that didn't manage to get up on my blog and the days that mean something to me.Each pic represents something and i thank you all for that.Cause you guys know how awesome it has been for me recently.Love to you'll.peace.

The stars will cry the blackest tears tonight
And this is the moment that I live for
I can smell the ocean air
Here I am pouring my heart onto these rooftops
Just a ghost to the world
Thats exactly,
Exactly what I need...

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem of our dying day...

For a second I wish the tide will swallow every inch of the city
As you gasp for air tonight
I'd scream this song right in your face if you were here
I swear I wont miss a beat cause I never,
Never have before...

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem of our dying day...

Of our dying day
Of our dying day
Of our dying...

For a second I wish the tide would swallow every inch of this city
As you gasped for air tonight...

From up here the city lights burn
Like a thousand miles of fire
And I'm here to sing this anthem of our dying day... (3x)

Our dying day
Of our dying...

Under the influence

I've not blogged for quite sometime now.I've been too tired ot go online.I just do my work and i'm off to bed. When my IG starts it's even worst.Damn i'm screwd.OKay enough with my whinning.
For IG i've got 2 options floorball first choice and cheerleading is second.I gottrials on monday for floorball.Going down with michelle and if i do get in i'll stick to it but if i don't then cheerleading it is.Since hidaya needs a partner.But daryl says i dun look like a cheerleader i look like a floorballer or hockey player.Randomn i know.Well lets see how it goes on monday.School has been of much fun for sure.Love my clique for sure.
Anyways went to watch ATC for their album launch of miles of hope yesterday.Damn their awesome.So happy for their album.It's awesomely nice.So it was a night of fun.Even though i was stoned before that outside scape.I was too tired that i started stoning.
Okay i've been wanting to do this for sometime now. I just realised that Casey Calvert has left this world and he has really touched us all with his guitar skills and his screams in a song. We may not have known him but he did tell his stories and touched us all in HHs songs.So a moment of silence.You are in a better place we know.

And all the world's a stage I existed because I dreamed and well, I dream no more I've given up on the entire human race
-Chiodos

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in , closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching us fall apart

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore

Oh, don't misunderstand how I feel
Coz I've tried, yes I've tried
Still I don't know why
No I don't know why

Why I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

You pulled me under so I had to give in
Such a beautiful mess that's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises; I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

Well I can't explain why it's not enough
Coz I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now
Oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do

It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore
The pieces don't fit anymore

Ballad of the beaconsfield miners

I'm like listening to the foo fighters album.They are damn good.I had their album like since christmas and decided to really appreciate it today. Guitar skills and lyrics is awesome on echoes,silence,patience and grace.I love the ballad.The music is good.
Alritey back to what i've been up to. I was just too tired yesterday to blog.The late nigt on sunday showed it's effects last night.But i'm not complaining cause it was worth it.Arsenal went down and it was glory for manchester united. 2 goals,one form c.ronaldo and the other was from owen heagreaves.Awesome going.
I was not in school today.I like woke up at 7.30 and i was like ah fuck back to bed.If skul was nearby i would still go but it is like bloody hell at woodlands.The longest journey ever i swear
i wanted to go to a skul far but not this far. Alrite till next time.Cheers.

never take anything or anyone for granted. Be thankful for everything you have in life and never miss the opportunity to tell those around you that you love them. Do that which makes YOU happy as life is too short and too unpredictable to slave away doing something you hate.
-Eron Bucciarelli

Unknown Pleasures

I'm at the moment cursing and swearing in my head.Reason:IT'S THE FUCKING MAN UTD VS ARSENAL GAME!Damn it man. Man utd have to have this in their pocket or end the game in a draw.They need it to stay on top and not have the egoistic arsenal fans boasting around in the morning.I have nfound arsenal fans in my class.Only man utd.So that is currently wat i'm doing.
I've to be in skul at 9.Oh man another week of long journeys to and fro school.I washed clothes too late and realised i've to search for clothes.Thank goodness i found my other clothes.If this is how it is going to be for the next 3 years then i'm screwed.Need more clothes.Okay i shall stop my irritating whining.So till tmr or whenever.Cheers.

…and if i were to jump from this twelth story window. would all of the implications disappear? and if there is bliss in death, would it befriend such a terrible soul? and if i were truly alone, would i know it? and is it the happy that smile with there beautiful faces to the sky? honestly, can feelings ever really be controlled?
-Craig owens

We watch the season pull up its own stakes
And catch the last weekend of the last week
Before the gold and the glimmer have been replaced,
Another sun soaked season fades away

You have stolen my heart

Invitation only, grant farewells
Crush the best one, of the best ones
Clear liquor and cloudy eyed, too early to say goodnight

You have stolen my heart

And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration
One good stretch before our hibernation
Our dreams assured and we all, will sleep well

You have stolen
You have stolen my heart

I watch you spin around in the highest heels
You are the best one, of the best ones
We all look like we feel

You have stolen my
You have stolen my heart

Events on friday and saturday

Yesterday after school i wane to SGSS for the speech day.Cause a few people were taking prizes such as my brother and the twins. Got to meet mrs chan.Spoke to her and everything.Got to know how the sec 5's are this year and she asked ruth and me about school and all. So happy i met her.But i really wanted to see Miss siti and i got to see her.Yeah!Got to speak to her and all.I was happy to see her.So that was friday.
I got to wake up late today.Yeah to that.Met mal at supposedly 5.30 but ended up meeting her at 6.As usual late ah she.So walked down to scape.was going for action reaction to catch Rika and hearmetoby. They were awesome man. Feeting tapping and body swaying to their songs. Can't wait for ATC next friday.I know i'll be dead tired but who cares.Before i leave a quote from the great.

"The things I want to know are in books; my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read." - Abraham Lincoln

So till tmr on updates on the big match.Arsenal vs man utd.I've to do this Glory glory man utd.hahas.Cheers.

Can you feel your heartbeat racing?
Can you taste the fear in her sweat?
You've done this wrong
It's too far gone
These sheets tell of regret
I admit that I'm just a fool for you
I am just a fool for you

Here is where we both go wrong
Tonight's your last chance to
Do exactly what you want to
And this could be my night
This is what makes me feel alive
Makes you feel alive
Here is where we both go wrong
So sign me up
And toss this key
'Cause for now we're
Living in this moment
And we both ignore the truth
Its all over
Its all over

I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes

[chorus]
Your lungs have failed and they both stopped breathing
My heart is dead and its way past beating
Something has gone terribly wrong
I'm scared, you're scared, we're scared of this
I never thought we'd make it out alive
I never told you but its all in your goodbyes
It's all in your goodbyes

Well look who's dying now
Slit wrists sleeping with the girl next door
I always knew you were such a sucker for that
It doesn't matter what you say
You never mattered anyway
Never mattered anyway

In this moment that we both ignore the truth
It's all over
It's all over
I feel your heart against mine
So take a breath and close your eyes

[chorus]

Don't shake, I hate to see you tremble
Trembling you've lost your touch
Haven't you, I'm so addicted

[chorus]

I Love Gays

I'm like so serious about loving gays. I love them.It's just a randomn thing that keeps on making me smile. I've been having smiles on my face cause of many reasons. School, the video and the thought of gays. The video which is in one of my previous blogs.
School is fun.I love my class for sure. My clique damn happening one.hahas.Okay 1/5 of my class are smokers.Awesome much.I din know the campus has a section for smoking.5th floor carpark.How awesome is that? Somemore class damn slack.Do presentation, come up with an awesome solution that would wow the teacher and defend your stand.That would get the grades that would need for school.Love school.BUT..... I STILL LOVE SECONDARY SCHOOL. It was one of my best times of my life.I guess it would definately be everyones.

"The finest emotion of which we are capable is the mystic emotion. Herein lies the germ of all art and all true science. Anyone to whom this feeling is alien, who is no longer capable of wonderment and lives in a state of fear is a dead man."
- Albert Einstein

Well i've been into quotes that make me think of life. I'm seeing the finer things in life now.After the really bad thing that happened to me.People made me realise that life could be better and i'm worth much more. I'm taking a break and inhaling all the finer things in life and the better people. New people and people who've been aroun.Those who have meant something to me always.Love ya'll. Okay one last quote from the angel of voices.

i need a friend in every city. one that will come and steal me away.
we will go and drink coffee together. we will drive around, listening to music.
not talking, but laughing. not thinking, but looking.
i need one of these everywhere i go.
-Craig owens

Doesn't this just want you to treasure your friends.Strong and powerful words always makes one think in life. He makes me look at life differently.
So that concludes my entry todaay.Till next time.Cheers.




Maybe we,Why don’t we sit right here for
half an hour
We'll speak of what a waste I am and how
we missed your beat again

I swear we need to find some comfort in
this run down place
To bridge the gap of this conscious state
that we live in
I’m short on time

How come you try and fit the shape of
what they tell you
But mostly what they show you
That brings us home
I pray for you to move on

At this rate we can’t keep up but I sure
can’t just sit still
I’m taking back all the things I said
Keep me filled in, I swear I’ll come

We walk alone back home

You’re almost gone and I’m ok to give you
time to be afraid
I still see your shadow but never your face
again
I remember your presence

I hope to God you come down
I hope to God you can feel this now
I know there must be some way out of
here and all of them will be waiting there

You can stand but you have no ground

Hello everyone! Hahas when i'm tired it means i'm hyper.School was awesome today. I loved my group most importantly.Most of us in my class went for lunch together.It was like 10-15 of us.We were so noisy but i love that.At least our class is getting along. I got nickname.damnit!hahas its mickey.Isa randomnly gave it cause of the incident in class.So fun i swear.
okay friday is tmr.Yeah!I'm so tired i swear. I need a break man. Saturday going to watch Rika with amaliah. so thats my break i guess
Something i forgot to do on monday.Put up results of F1 race and my manchester united match.
This are the top 3 positons for F1 for the Bahrain race.

1st position
1:31:06.970 Felipe Massa Ferrari
points:10
position in drivers table: 6th

2nd position
+3.3 secs Kimi Raikkonen Ferrari
Points:19
Position in drivers table: 1st(YEAH!)

3rd position
+4.9 secs Robert Kubica BMW
points:14
position in drivers table: 4th

Overall i'm always rooting for the ferrari team and kimi raikkonen.This dude has fucking skills.Team wise BMW is 1st and ferrari is 2nd but ferrari will catch up.It's only 1 point different. But my hats off for the BMW team.They're doing well this season.Next race in spain in i think 2weeks time. So yup.
Well man utd din do very well.They drew with middlesborough.But they're still on top.
Okay thats it so till next time.Cheers.

I won't trust the air with secrets

School was aight.It was science today even though i hate science i managed.We did on blood relations.I swear scientific terms are hard to understand.What the fuck are antigens and anti bodies? But we managed and i was fucking hell appointed team leader. Like shit man. Hahas.I think its some randomn class tmr. But let me say besides the long journey and the early waking time.Class is awesome.I'm always online and chatting away and i can still do my presentations.How cool can that get?Oh fuck! I got a C for computing and mathematical methods.Which was mondays lesson.Screw it man.

Anyways the video i posted up yesterday is awesome.I'm like wanting to see it almost everyday. The kiss that they gave each other turned me on.There was another video from a diff angle where i think i saw craig licking anthony's ear.Like awesome.Hahas.Okay i'm fucking tired.So i 'm fucking off now till next time.Cheers.

My imperfections are badges of honor

I'm so f-ing tired.It's only the second day of school.Maybe give it time and i'll be used to it.Today was cultural studies.So we studied on conflicts.I swear it was so social studies. I dun like my group today.Hopefull for science tmr it would be a better group.Shit its science tmr. Gonna be so boring.
Well having someone tell me his problems has gotten me thinking of stuff that i've kept buried.Well i was going through a journal entry of my angel and i came across a very motivational entry.Here it is.
” “We make the sun shine” - a phrase often used in my vocabulary describing an intense and abrupt feeling that I wish to hold onto. I wish that I could describe the beauty in a sunset. I wish, oh how I wish. However, words as lonely, misguided and feeble as mine may come out. Why do they believe in me? Who knows? Maybe I was given a gift. It is there, but like so many things in life, it takes merely one thing, persistance…maybe if I switched focuses I would lose it. Me and my psycho analytical pretentious way of ruining everything that I touch. At least I make sense in my own head. Love will come, and in many forms. When I’m understood even through my muttering and dancing around my words in a stuttering two step. Or a simple sigh that can be read from the tips of my fragile fingertips down to my walked on, and always moving toes. In time? Haha…time ? Sometimes I don’t have enough, and other times I find myself drowning in it. ”
….today, find something that makes you smile, hold it tight and say “we make the sun shine” for me, for yourself. any type of noun(person, place or thing) will do. whether all of you realize it or not, you are all the reason mine rises, and then continues to shine bright in the empty sky each and every day.
-craig owens

It makes me think about alot of stuff.Especially the last part where he said find something that would make me smile.Motivational ain't it. You know who you are. I think you need this words. Alritey till next time.Cheers.

The past always hurts

Okay first day of skul was so fun i swear.I love my class.They are a funny bunch of ppl.Thats the class i want. Everyone is filled with joy.Laughter always fills the class.Presentation was aight.Managed to finish it.Now got to go online and finish up my work but wireless is so slow.Alright i wwent home with diq,fik and anees.I know so randomn but they are my friends and all.Had diq talk to me again. The important conversions as usual.The life conversations.They are always importan for sure.

Last saturday was fun with the twins.Got to hang out before school started so i was happy for sure.That was what i wanted.Bad day it was as the rain was pouring cats and dogs. Like ergh...hahas okay.So met up with aaron after that.We chilled at coffee bean and left quite early.Ruth and i were complaning cause we were tire.Well had fun though.Wish to hang out when fel gets back.Till then cheers.

Pulling a truth from a heart

I have been thinking of how much life is better right now for me.Everything just fell in place when i came out with the truth.It was like living with that truth by myself,somehow gave me bad luck.When it got out everything changed.Everything can be said is AWESOME.I got a school and i got back the ppl who really grew with me and tolerated everything i've done.The people i've cried,laughed,fall and enjoyed every minute with. I just want to say i love ya'll.hahas.I feel like during that period of time i din appreciate you guys and was away for a long time.When i got back i realised how much i actually missed you all.Well you guys are truly appreciated by me even if i din stick by u all.U guys were there for me with a listening when i was back.This are the friends that i'll keep with always. There is one more person who has believed in me when i first told her the truth.well she has given me words that kept me on my feet and has always told me not to give up.No one has ever succeded stopping me from my drugs but she has done it.I wonder how but it was only words she used.The powerful message in her words made me realise that there is too much beauty in life to let go.
Well I've got to thank Amaliah,Grace,Ruth,Han,diq and not forgetting Fel. The special someone is Aunty Gina.This are the ppl whom i'll always keep.THANK YOU.


The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed but I have loved you from the start

Oh, But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible
So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold on to your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find

Tonight will be the night
That I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

Lexington

The fields are near and I wont trust the air with secrets
I can't stop holding this treasure in my arms
For all the water in the ocean could never turn
The swan's legs from black to white

Let them say. let them say. let them say what they please

You wont be leaving my arms ever. I promise you that.
Even if you want me to let go honey
Even if you want me to let go
You wont be leaving my arms ever. I promise you that.
Even if you want me to let go honey
Even if you say the things that make me want to lose you

We went on drinking, celebrating something
I looked at you and said that I'm forever yours
You looked at me and said oh the idea of being in love
The idea. the idea. of being forever yours. yeah.

You wont be leaving my arms ever. I promise you that
Even if you want me to let go honey
Even if you want me to let go
You wont be leaving my arms ever. I promise you that
Even if you want me to let go honey
Even if you say the things that make me want to lose you

Screaming from the inside of me, lonely and pleading phantasm
We only get what we see; gazing so desperately
Between the things that we fear; gazing so desperately
In love with illusions; were watching segregating illusions
Between the things that we see and the things that we fear
No no it wont make then disappear.

You wont be leaving my arms ever. I promise you that
Even if you want me to let go honey
Even if you want me to let go
You wont be leaving my arms ever. I promise you that
Even if you want me to let go honey
Even if you say the things that make me want to lose you

Even if you want me to let go honey...

Orientation day

On my orientation day i was late.Damn it.Well i'm always late but i can't be lat for normal skul days.If not my grades go down by 0.5.damn.Alrite well i've met my class.Class W25P is already funny on orientation day. I've met my team and we consist of Jogina, Evelyn and weiren(if i'm not wrong) and me.Awesome ppl they are for sure. Well had to do presentation yesterday so that we would know how it was going to be like on the first day of skul.Well its going to be presentations everyday from now on. okay enough of skul.

So after my orientation met my mum and bro at bishan to do the CPF thing for skul. Then it was of to shopping for me.Got many clothes for skul.Well i'll be needing many clothes for skul.This is the problem with no uniform.

Well meeting up with the twins this sat.Before i can't hang out anymore cause of skul.So i'm gone till my next entry.cheers.

Is there anybody out there?
That wakes up with a bitter taste?
It's a king that we put up there
And he's a short way to fall from grace
It's slowly filling upward.
You can stand but you have no ground.
I hear it from the lost words.
They say its time that you lost your crown.

Don't be so greedy.
A dollar's a penny to you
When hearts are beating
Say what you want 'em to do.
Wasting away... I see you.
When the top of the world falls on you
Finding a day, don't wanna be you
When the top of the world falls on you

Is there anybody out there?
That can see what a man can change?
It's better that you don't care
Because he knows that he's in his state
I feel the paranoia.
When there's a time, put you in your place
In the eyes of those who watch ya
Well they can wait 'til they hit your face

Don't be so greedy.
A dollar's a penny to you
When hearts are beating
Say what you want 'em to do.
Wasting away... I see you.
When the top of the world falls on you
Finally a day, don't wanna be you.
When the top of the world falls on you

Paint yourself a picture
When you waste another picture
And you win, and you win, and you win
Paint yourself a picture
And then you break another picture
And you win, and you win, and you win
And you win Yeah you win and you win

Don't be so greedy
A dollar's a penny to you
When hearts stop beating
Say what you want 'em to do
Wasting away... I see you
When the top of the world falls on you
Finding a day, don't wanna be you
When the top of the world falls on you

Wasting away... I see you
When the top of the world falls on you
Finding a day, don't wanna be you
When the top of the world falls on you

sheep in wolves clothing

Last night was hilarious.The wasp was a fucking joke i swear.Mal tried to be a hero and kill the wasp but i remembered her screaming cause it wouldn't die how hard you whacked it.So my cousin helped in the killing process.hahas.all the nonsense we do.We cooked the most fattening food last night.Mal helped out cause she had nothing better else to do.lol.Well food turned out great and i had a smile on my face.
awakened at 8.30a.m this morning. Went down to RP with my mum. The journey is a killer.Woodlands is just too far.But i got to take the journey for skul.Tmr is orientation,it starts at 9,not sure if i should go.But its best i should cause i would know the place better. Well i'm going to go skul and screw life there as well.hahas.Alritey.Leaving you guys with the voice of an angel.hahas.Cheers.