super bored with life

My show is over.It was rocking.Models always rock shows.Hahas.kidding only.I looked totally diff till mum could not recognise me.That was how diff i was.But the show was awesome.And we are doing it again at holland close on the 11th nov.Aft my show went back home and rushed to the prata shop to meet little miss sueey and him.Watched man utd match and after so long get to smoke.After the match was begging him to meet up with sivam.I totally forgot sivams birthday.As usual guilty so went to meet him.so we took one of the last buses cause it was going to be 12.30am.So went under his block and we all chatted with.The both of them was playing cards.So little miss sueey went to take her random pics with her new camera.I just sat there and watched them play with cards.Around 1.30 we decided to leave.Sivam was such a good brother to give me 10 bucks for taxi. I reached home at nearly 2.
Okay i've got to say this but i'm super bored with life.Where is the enjoyment i used to feel?It's all gone.I need a fling.I've got someone in mind.But someone keeps on telling me a play thing may end up serious.but still i've been so tempted to send that msg to him.Now i'm just dead blur.but i've got to accept the negative consequence that might happen after i send the msg. So i'll still think about it.Until i've really decided to face everthing that might happen then i'll only send that msg.but my IT guy is still hazwan.I know FWB will never happen with him.So i'm keeping it down low about it.
Yup so that is about it.Emo punk never dies.*rabbit*

life has been busy for me

I've been totally busy with my upcoming show.I've been going nuts over the gig that i totally forgot that this sat is my modelling show.This whole week has been classes for 3 hours straight.I just fell sick with all the stress.Had high fever and flu and everything.All i wanted to do was sleep like forever and my mum din let that happen.So i'm doing things with this fucked up flu and cough.Tmr going in for training at the restaurant that i'm gonna start working at.It's somewhere at east coast.My uncle is training me.Pls dun be harsh.After that gotta rush to class.So fucked man.Busy.After sat can relax abit cause no more modelling but got work lah.
Guess wat i've met this SJC girl.She is my mums' friends daughter and she and i are modelling together.She is not straight.Her stories about school is the best.Super funny.I've got a cousin oso from SJc.Their stories and gossips are the best.I can gossip with my cousin about girls we both dun like.Typical girls lah.gossiping has become my fav pastime now.Gossiping with the models and all.
Life has become so fucking boring.It's like work and home.So hard man.So tiring.Haven gone out.Wah really i've gotta get a life.trying my very best to.
Guys ask me out in the day from next week onwards.My nights are filled with me earning my money.I'm dead broke now.
so thats about it.Oh ya before i go Hazwan is still my IT guy.Hahas.Punkrock never dies.*rabbit*

Alaskans rock

I've got to blog.Yesterday our performance was awesome man.Really enjoyed performing up there on stage.Except for the"music god"giving some fuck shit comments and azri just spoiling everything by stepping on hans distortion.They can fuck off and die.This is what i call is jealousy.I mean come on if u got something to say then say it to my face.But too bad alaskans rocked yesterday. Someone dislocated their arm and someone got their eye punched when we were performing.The moshing when we were performing was hardcore.The people who got injured were our friends friends.The guy who dislocated his arm was safwans friend.He tried to help but they were very bad to him.He cried.first time i am seeing him cry.Then he just hugged me.he was like hugging me the whole time yesterday.dun understand why.Just had fun with everybody yesterday.there is a whole list of people who came.Really want to thank them.Want to say a special thanks to Little miss sueey for taking the video of our performance.you rock.Okay diq and han knows about my secret crush on hazwan.Diq was totally disturbing me about it.Like wateva to him.He looked like some drunk dude last night when he went into the petrol kiosk to ask for a job. went to the prata shop to eat again.Reached home around 2 last night after eating.So that is about it.I'll try putting up pics of the gig real soon.So yup.Emo punk never dies.*rabbit*

FWB

okay last tim i wrote must be last week.can't really rmb.This whole week i've been hanging out like mad.Monday went jamming.Really screwed up night.Something wrong with diq.I've no got dame idea wat.Anyway everything is okay already.so ya lah.tuesday din jam.Hung out the prata shop with little miss sueey and him.hung out till 12 something.No last bus so had to take a cab home.wanted to hang out and watch the arsenal and man utd matchs.But could not.So very saddening but watched it at home in the end.Arsenal lost and man utd won.Hahas.super happy.copenhagen jersey dame nice.feel like getting it.Must raid queensway shopping centre badly.yesterday was out to town with fel.Then met up with fara and edmund.Hung out till 7 something.then fel and me met up with little miss sueey and him at the prata shop again. Fel left early.she needed to be home.So we ate there and just talk nonsense again.left at 11.30.needed to catch the last bus badly.soya.got baack home and just crashed on my bed.Super tired already.today went jamming for 2 hours straight.We got the line up of songs straigtened up.So its papa roach,finch,its either change of pace first or heartwell ending and last but not least red jumpsuit.so that is the final line up of songs.So yeah.can't wait for tmr.jamming after their friday prayers then i think got rehearsals.so yup.it's gonna be a long day.

Okay i've starter this whole Friends With Benefit(FWB) thing.its a conjunction with my whole carefree life.It's going to be even more fum.Okay my season hasn't changed.It's still hazwan.Yes it is.Only 4 knws.but if other than the 4 ppl hu knws dun tell anyone.thanks.

So yup that is about it.Lady alaska makes our debut performance tmr.Enjoy it if u r going.So till then Emo punk never dies.*rabbit*

From Fara

YOU'VE BEEN RAIDED BY

FARA,

PETER PAN

&

TINKERBELL.

dead sick

Okay i'm gonna summarize everything.
Saw all the band members of sky of euphoria at kovan makaning on sat.
Still going gaga over hazwan.
Got gastric flu virus.but getting better.
Jamming straight next whole week.tuesday and thursday have to rush down for band practices after my modelling rehearsals.so gonna be a tiring week.
so that is about it.
Emo punk never dies.*rabbit*

random hook ups

Met that Ediot last night.He says that it was cause he was bored.I heard from sivam he was high.So i dun care what the real story is.I've given up on love.Man it sounds like the lyrics from giving up.okay ways.Decided i should be carefree from now on.it's so much fun.random hook ups.going gaga over the hotess guys i see.Right now my season the guy i am going gaga over is one of my band members.Whoever reads this keep it a secret.Cause it's my dirty little secret.I knw little miss sueey knws. rev is back.Crazy is in my blood again.i love it. it kills the malster whenever i say that.But i was born in IMH and it has to be in my blood.hahas.Just ignore my madness. Man i'm sick. Might have to go to hospital. I hate hospitals. The long waits.doctors asking you stupid questions.Like fuck off.You are the doctor answer my fucking questions. The x-rays and giving them a sample of my urine.Like fuck this shit man.just hating the hospital.Man utd won 1-3.Vidic,saha and Solskjaer.I have to type out the lyrics to this song.

You are my solskjaer
My only solskjaer
You make me happy
when skies are grey
you never know that
how much i love you
Please dun take my solskjaer away

Aiya ppl say my space bar got problem.Okay lah i shall start paragraphing my blogs from now on.
okay so thats bought it.the band member i'm going nuts over that you guys want to knw is Hazwan.I tink his hot and talented.Just doing those stupid things to him is so fun.Little miss sueey suspected a long time ago.
thats about it.Emo punk never dies.*rabbit*

Me playing my baby

giving up on her and not giving up on him

Okay seriously i dun get his fucking problem. He comes back for i dunno what. I start screwing myself all over again.Can't eat.feel like someone has beaten me up. I haven done one thing yet.my drugs.I wonder how bad it will get this time till i touch my drugs.I really dun want to though.I've had enough the last time.But it seems like it's starting all over again.I'm giving up on her and not giving up on him. It's sick when i say that.Lets not get into it too much.I got my hair dyed by the way.the colour really sucks badly.It's fucked up how it looks on me.That is how bad it is on me. Last night went to long john to slack with little miss sueey and the malster. Kinda boring but it just got fun with all our lame shit and all.so yup that is about it.



When I'm lying in your bed play the motions through my head
you know that I'm thinking, I'm thinking...
and I have reasons to believe that I'm not the only
one you spend this time with, but I'll stay...
[Chorus]
You say...you're weak,
you wont let me down [x2]
you lie through your teeth
you smile in your sleep [x2]
When we met you said we were the same, you know
that we're different, we're different,
and all the times you promised me that everything would
work out in the end, you were gravely mistaken
[Chorus]
You lie [x4], you lie through your teeth
you wont let me down, you lie
I deserve better than this
I drain myself for only one, your way(x4), you gasp for air, let's think this through, i'll seep through you, your pale(x4), your pale blue eyes
when you're lying in your bed, the eulogies been read
you know that it's fitting, you lie
[Chorus]
You smile [x4] I deserve better than this

stop screwing my life

I'm totally shock cause enoch msgs me all of a sudden last nite.Asking me to meet him.He has something to tell me and i dunno what it is. He was super nice all of a sudden. He told me to take a cab down and he would pay for my cab fare.But i din go.Cause i screwed myself up cause of him once.I dun wish to do it again.Really that was the worst point of my life. I've never felt worser.But i wonder if i still do have feelings for him.I was totally cracking my brains, wondering what he wants now. Seriously whatever he wants to say he can just msg me anytime.I dun wish to see him either. I probably would screw myself up all over again.But i've got feelings for someone else.I shall stick to her.Cause i knw deep down its her to me.I think she knows cause after what sadiq told me. At least it's a start.I won't tell her anything until her o's finish and i get my life straightened out.but i really want to make a huge change in her life for the better of her.cause i love her. anyway i got bass yesterday.Finally man.I've gotten my second baby already. dame happy.Jumping for fucking joy. I got 2 tops from topman.love them man.I love collared and stripe tees. Its super nice. Okay N's are finally over.so monday after accounts paper.Went home got changed, got my stuff and was off to felly wellies place to go swimming. We tried out our bikini's.seriously i'm super flat.Hate it.Guess why?All thanks to him.I lost a inch around my waist too.Irritating much man.But itwas fun at fel's place.The highlight of that day was jumping off the board into the 3m deep pool. Super fun.On tuesday was suppose to get my bass together with Raihan(who got his guitar).But she forgot her card.So it was alrite. The guys went home to change after that.littli miss sueey(my new nickname for her) went off with them too.Hahas i love that name. So fel and me got bored just waiting for almost 2 hours.So we went to the national library.I found this book called'Twins'.I got engrossed in it.I just sat in one corner reading it while went off for her book hunt. She came back not successful with her search. So i followed fel to find a good cookbook for herself.Once it was found we went off to borrow the books.Called Hazwan asking where he was.Thank goodness he and safwan were at bugis already. So we met them outside gas haus.Waited for sadiq and han super long.All the complaints were poured onto me.Had a good conversation with Hazwan and safwan.Oh ya safwan actually thought that i liked Hazwan.So fucking random.Then diq and han came.so off to gas haus to jam. Sueey,fel and stance came after eating a good dinner.Which i sadly din have till 11 something. The room seriously sucked big time.super small and all. I'm like dame comfortable with my band members. Was totally disturbing Hazwan all the way. He is one funny guy.But fel and i have to the the conclusion that he is exactly like Seth cohen form the O.C.his got style on his own already.His goodlooking,with awesome sense of style and his one mad guy. maybe i've got the hots for him.But his just my bandmember and a friend to me. After that Went home.took a bus with sadiq.the rest took MRT home.so i told sadiq all the complaints that were poured onto me. After that at home just pigged out.so thats life till today.i'm on a daybreak today.tmr is back to felly wellies place.So emo punk never dies.*rabbit*

I stop at 40 to realize that I hate you

I'm over him.Yes i am. I feel so good saying that.After a week of cryin over him.I stopped at 40 cuts to realize that i hate him.Finally he just msged me telling me that i should forget him and i realized like i hate him.I go through so much and he asks me to forget him.Like fuck off man. I met her and him on tuesday night and she said that i looked like some IMH outpatient.Wat the hell?That must be what love depression can do to you.I lost so mush of weight.Now i'm simply stuffing myself with food to gain back all that lost weight.All those ppl who were there for me when i was in this point where i gave up.Thanks.I want to say a special thank you so much to Fara.I never really knew ppl read my blog.She msged me all of a sudden this morning to send me a super sweet msg.I guess even though we haven been talking.We still do keep track of each others life.Cause i've been checking out her blog too. But really thanks ya. Oh ya.guess what? I get to play my bass solo.Yes ah.I'm so happy.The sky is singing.Okay just ignore me and my madness.Yesterday got to go for a gig at gas haus.After that went jamming at arab street.Was quite fun at the beginning.Then i just started thinking bout him. Almost cried but what the hell?I'm with my band they make me laugh. We are like a bunch of mad idiots.hahas.no lah not idiots.A bunch of mad ppl.We finished jamming at 11.30.Was walking down to the bus stop,smoking and talking to raihan.After smoking i threw the cigarette into a place i thought was a open feild.Suddenly safwan screams'eh revathi that is a graveyard'. I go oh shit i'm screwed. But really stupid of me.So yup.this is life after rev recovers from a depression.She turns to a mad emo chic all over again.Emopunk never dies.*rabbit*

30 cuts just for you

I feel so lost without him.I haven eaten a proper meal.I've lost weight.Haven slept properly.I feel lyk someone has beaten me up.My drugs have become my daily usage.30 cuts just for you.I try to study but i just cry. Baby what must i do to get you back.I hate hakim.It is all cause of him.Tmr his dead i dun care.I trusted Fadly and he went to tell Hakim and Enoch.Was totally pissed at Fadly.But i realized his just worried for me.I realize everyone is worried for me.Guys thanks for your concern seriously. But i'm trying as hard as possible.It's just hard.I thought i got a second chance in love but everything went wrong.Why do perfect things have to go wrong for me?I just love him so much.I'm not giving up on him. Maybe he might realize that i really love him.Anyway the more i talk about it.It just hurts more.So our bands name has changed.We are called Lady alaska now. A really nice name though.Hazwan comes up with unique and nice names.All the teachers have found out bout our band.Everyone is shocked though.But if we do make it.It would be worth it all man.All our hard jam sessions.My fingers have small line scars on them.When i get my bass it might be worst.But it will all pay off. Sadiq looks down on my bass skills.I'm goin to show it to him that i can play that solo for the silverstein song. How much pain and hardwork it takes.I dun care.I will play that solo not hazwan.So yup guys.Thats it.Emo punk outta here.*Rabbit*