my much awaited trip to england

Hmmm...life has been messed up for sure.My depression is like...yup killing me.I've done something that i haven done in over a year.Yes started using my drugs again.Well not much effects as the pain isn't the same. Things at home aren't that good.My last resort of a skul is going to lasalle.Yup i knw i'm not much of an art person. My love life is definately screwed up for sure. I just had a fall out with him cause his pissing me off.I dun have anything with him but we are already having fall outs. Well i guess thats what screwing with a much older man does. Fred is a whole another story. Decided to just hang out as friends. He starts skul next week like damn. But i still got Rhianne to burn my time with.She asked me to go to england with her.That is in july and if i have the money for my air ticket. It would be cool to see their house in england and all.The country of soccer. May have my sleepover at their house this friday.That is if my mum and i are alrite. Hopefully we are. I've got to work in the afternoon.Damn! early morning for me tmr and seeing him after so long. It's only a week since we..erm...Okay! getting over my depression till my next entry.   

Result release

Well this post was supposed to be a long time ago.But i shall not bother sayin wat i got cause i din get into any bloody poly. So screw it. my options are open but parents are as usual not agreeing. well life goes on. So life has been fucked.My depression came back today.with all that has happened how could it not. I cut myself which i've not done in over a year now.so its really fucked. well he is speaking to me and i talked to him. his really nice about it but men they love defending themself. screw it. I can't say much cause i'm not in a relationship with him. i wanted to tell him bout the whole thing where i wanted more then us in bed but i couldn't. but still we're best of buds. Well i dated a english guy who is like 3yrs yonger then me. but his like the most cutest and sweetest guy i knw. we had an open and honest chat last night. which i'm happy about. well he wants me to go wakeboarding with him. i've never tried it but new opportunities to try new stuff comes once in a lifetime. so i'll try.well rhianne will be there,his elder sis.She's nice too. English ppl are definately the nicest ppl around and they live in manchester.like them cool. os thats about what i've gone through in life an i'll write more.