Should i take my leave soon?

This pass few days aren't that good.I'm trying so hard to be strong for Fara but i can't.I'm taking in so many things at once.It's killing me.I planned my next 2 days.I'm gonna see Fara.On sat i'm taking my leave.I'm so sorry.I could not take it the moment he did not want our friendship back. I wish you are happy when i'm gone though. I dun wish for you to regret anything.Everything is my fault.I've gave up on everything in life.I keep on telling myself not to give up but i am slowly.The only person i had and could talk to about anything was Fara.It's had when she is not with me in school and all.When i go to the hospital to talk to her.I just breakdown every night.It's abit enlightening that i'm friends with Haja back.At least before anything happens i'll make things right before i go.But i'm suppose to make a confession to Haja.I haven done that.Waiting for him to ask then i will tell.I know you are reading my blog.You dun have to hide from me.Just ask away.

I was hopping that things would get better before i take my leave.No one has to be sorry for me.Cause no one is.L.M.S wants me to be there for her.Cause she is going through a hard time too.She does not want me to leave cause she needs me.I can't believe that at least i knw one person needs me.But i really need your friendship cause i was making it all this time with ur friendship.I won't get my love for you in the way of our friendship anymore.I promise.I make promises but why can't u just take them.U told me yourself that u treated me as one of your bestfriend.I'm ready to take on that friendship.

No matter wat.I miss my little idiot.Fara i miss you too.Getter better soon.I can't wait to hear your voice.I miss it like fucking hell.Open your eyes soon too.I miss your wonderful eyes.You can get a look of my new haircut too.Your sisters say my haircut looks like yours.Noor has been like a sister to me fara.You are right about her.Okay i'm in tears already.I just hope the ppl who i miss will come back to me soon.cause you 2 are the only ppl who gave me strength.

The drugs begin to peak
A smile of joy arrives in me
But sedation changes to panic and nausea
And breath starts to shorten
And heartbeats pound softer
You won't try to save me!
You just want to hurt me and leave me desperate!

You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had.
I can forget, the times that I was
Lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine!

You won't leave me alone!
Chisel my heart out of stone, I give in everytime.

You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had
I can forget, the times that I was
Lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine!

I bet you laugh, at the thought of me thinking for myself. (myself)
I bet you believe, that I'm better off with you than someone else.
Your face arrives again, all hope I had becomes surreal.
But under your covers more torture than pleasure
And just past your lips there's more anger than laughter
Not now or forever will I ever change you
I know that to go on, I'll break you, my habit!

You taught my heart, a sense I never knew I had.
I can forget, the times when I was
Lost and depressed from the awful truth
How do you do it?
You're my heroine!

I will save myself!

P.S:I tried to put the video up bu there is some error.Fara used to teach me blog stuff.I'll try to put it up real soon.